Wednesday, July 14, 2010

E'toy llena

Guys. How can it possibly be July? There is just no way that's possible. I think this summer has gone by at warp speed, and the fact that it is mid-July is just about impossible for me to fathom. I had really high hopes for this summer, since I wouldn't be planning a wedding. Don't get me wrong, this summer has been a blast, but it has gone by way too fast! Anyway, I digress. Here's what I actually wanted to write about.

The hardest part of yoga for me has always been those beginning moments when the instructor asks the class to sit quietly, to turn ourselves to our breath and listen to our bodies, and above all, to sit still. Two years of yoga practice later, I am still the one fidgeting when I am supposed to be sitting cross-legged, with my hands resting on my knees, palms facing up. While I fidget, I love this posture. Sitting with my cupped palms facing the sky, I feel open to possibility, open to the great vastness of the universe. It is really an awe-inspiring feeling.

Today, as I was driving home from work in rush hour traffic, a sense of gratitude washed over me. My hands literally felt full with the beautiful things happening in my life. I decided to make a list to remember the moment. I am feeling very full with gratitude about these things:
  • a cookie when I needed it most: I didn't pack enough food for work today, and by 4 pm I was hungry and without a snack. Luckily, a coworker shared some truly epic chocolate chip pecan cookies.
  • a fan: Our AC is broken at work during one of the hottest weeks this summer. It's hot. Luckily, my cube-mate realized that our space heater also has a cool "fan" option. While it was still pretty toasty, our cube remained significantly cooler than the rest of the office.
  • good friends: One of my very good friends, Kimberly, and her sister came through Denver last night on the tail end of their epic-sounding road trip. I haven't seen her in almost a year. It was so wonderful to have her here and to realize how easily we fell back into talking normally with one another, cuddling on the couch and reminiscing about past times together. It was really wonderful.
  • good music: Music has an amazing effect on one's mood. On my drive home today, I popped in the CD James' cousin made. I haven't listened to it in a long time, but the singer/songwriter style, poignant lyrics, and fun instrumentals made for a very pleasant ride home. Such honest, open music & singing.
  • calm within the storm: These next few weeks are going to be so crazy. Somehow I (so far) seem to be holding it together. While a mix of work and personal responsibilities are making the next month seem insurmountable at times, I am still finding time for yoga, cooking, watching Big Bang Theory episodes, and reading for pleasure. Life is good.
  • possibility: There are a lot of changes coming for me, many of which I'm not ready to share at this point. It feels good that there are some unknowns in my life. They don't feel as terrifying as they did earlier, and it seems like there is just so much potential.
Overall, I feel peaceful tonight. As I used to tell my Dominican host mother when I couldn't possibly fit another bite of rice & beans into my stomach, "E'toy llena*." [I'm full.]

*Yes, it should be Estoy llena. Dominicans do not say their "s's."